Working on It

I say no a lot.

“No you can’t have candy for breakfast.” “No, you cannot get that toy.” “No, please do not hit your sister with that.” 

“No, I can’t. I’ve got to take D3 to {Insert random sports practice here}.” “No, Drew’s out of town so I’ve got all the kids.” 

But as often as I say no, I feel like the people pleaser in me still tries to say yes way too much. I’ve got a tendency to over-commit to things. Things I want to do but know I won’t be able to do. Things I don’t want to do. Meetings I want to take but have no business trying to squeeze in between a hundred other things. Saying yes to projects that I can’t knock out unless daylight savings meant stopping time. It’s a problem. 

And as much as people talk about how saying no is something you have to do and that it’s good for the soul – sometimes saying no is not feasible. I feel like every blog, podcast, self-help book is telling us to say no to things you don’t want in your life. But you know what, sometimes you just have to suck it up and do the things you don’t want to do. Where’s the self-help book about that?

Where’s the one that talks about having to do things because you don’t want to disappoint your kids? Or the one that talks about “living your best life” while also making a living? Seriously, though – I’m hoping it exists and one of you all will tell me about it.

For me, I’m having a hard time saying no when there’s so much on the line. Starting a new business means you need to say yes. Yes to clients because they pay the bills. Yes to meetings because you need more clients. Just yes to more stuff. But all that saying yes has me running on fumes.

And in the last month or so, I’ve been on a serious mission to be more respectful of my own time. So I’ve been channeling this post  and working on saying no. Or, more importantly, making it worthwhile to saying yes. That’s where I’ve really picked up the slack, on making it worthwhile to say yes.

I think that’s something a lot of women in generally have a hard time doing. I go through phases where I’m better at it but right now isn’t one of those times.

I say all of this not to be a big giant Debbie Downer but because I thought I’d let you all in on where I am right now.

As excited as I am about Derby season (and I’m really excited), I’m already a little overwhelmed. It’s that mix of excitement and anxiety that is pretty much where I live my life. It’s also to say that whenever I hear “I don’t know how you do it all,” I don’t. I never do IT ALL. I just do a couple things at the same time and never more than one particularly well at any time.

I’m thinking this is all coming out as a rambling mess but I wanted to make sure I got it off my chest. And while some people are content leaving the dirty corners and crumbs out of the picture, I think it’s important you all see them.

But hey, isn’t this outfit cute too…

J.McLaughlin Black & White SkirtBanana Republic Trench Coat |
Sundry Leon on Me tee from Anthropologie (old, super similar here)
Fossil Finley Bag in Pink | J.Crew Pink Bow (similar)
Banana Republic Red Heels (SUPER similar here) 


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