That’s a wrap. No more hyperbole from Chris Harrison, no more farming puns and no more dolphin laugh – Chris Soules run as The Bachelor is now over. I was pleasantly surprised that Chris went with the WAY TOO OBVIOUS choice of Whitney and didn’t do the dumb, boneheaded guy thing of picking the girl that clearly wasn’t that in to him.

Was I the only one wondering why Becca even went to Iowa? Did she think if she was runner-up she had a better chance of being The Bachelorette? Has anyone in the history of the show ever looked more uninterested in getting a proposal? Honestly it was kind of a relief, I wasn’t really up for a big heaping dose of secondary embarrassment last night and Becca saved us from the worst. More on that later.

Big congrats to Whitney and Chris though. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for those crazy kids. You know she’s all in so here’s hoping wedding bells are in their future. Oh and speaking of a wedding. Since Whitney is from Louisville, if any one scores an invite – I’m going to need some live tweeting/photos from that Iowa field party. Hook a friend up.

* Becca’s indifference. Becca gave zero f’s about this last episode. It seemed like her entire purpose this episode was to showcase her oddly flawless skin, curling iron abilities and dependence on the phrase, “I don’t know.” Poor Chris seemed head over heels for Becca and she was giving him the brush off. HARD.

I kept wanting to shake Chris and give him the “she’s just not that into you speech.” His family didn’t even need to meet the girl to realize that she wasn’t the one. Not only was she not game to move to Iowa, she wasn’t even willing to give him the slightest indication that she wouldn’t dump his ass after 3 months and sell the ring for money to buy more body-con dresses. Has any one considered hooking her up with Juan Pablo? No? Ess okay.

* Mom and Pop Soules. Let’s get one thing out of the way really quick. We all know Mama Soules could have used a blow-out before the cameras started rolling but a little frizz didn’t stop her from winning a place in my heart. Even someone with a cold, black heart like me can’t help but love the Soules. They were just so darn cute. And that semi-matching fit they wore after the engagement was just too much.

I’m hoping they’ll adopt me too so Pop can teach me to drive the tractor and Mom can teach me her apple pie recipe. The Americana of it all was amazing.

* Neil Lane in Iowa. You know Neil Lane flew in to Dubuque right quick, popped open that ring case, let Chris pick out his favorite and then promptly jetted back to LA or Mustique or wherever Neil Lane spends his time being tan and fabulous. All that is a crying shame though.

Just imagine Neil Lane enjoying a long weekend in rural Iowa. Smores with the family, tractor riding with Chris, corn shucking with the nieces and nephews. That’s a reality show I would watch. I bet Neil Lane would make regular farm life look so classy.

* Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel’s appearance on After The Final Rose was a sweet gift from The Bachelor gods. Putting Chris on the spot, making fun of CH’s penchant for hyperbole, cracking on producers, pinpointing that Whitney sounds exactly like a muppet. All such good stuff. It single-handedly save the ATFR special because that shizz was BORING.

Then he brought out Juan Pablo the Cow and locked in his place as the host of the show if Chris Harrison ever decides to give being The Bachelor a go. (No but really, when can we make that happen? #BachelorNation, we need to start a letter writing campaign.)

* The Rejection & Proposal. Can we talk about Becca’s dress for a second? What the what was that? I mean Whitney’s wasn’t much better but it looked like haute couture compared to that red velvet number. Woof. Becca, I thought you were better than that. Her body is way too good to be dressed like an old lady ottoman.

Normally when it comes to the pinnacle of secondary embarrassment, the rejection, I am buried under a blanket or hiding underneath my couch begging for someone to fast-forward through the awkwardness. The girls (or guy) prepare for a proposal only to be told that they’re not quite the one. Close but no go. Brutal.

Not the case this go around. Becca looked so relieved. Like a giant, corn silo sized weight had been lifted off her bronzed shoulders.

Whitney on the other hand knew she was getting that rock. All that fake surprise, girlfriend knew she had it locked up. And like the sweet muppet she is, shouted “holy cow” when he showed her the rock. Bless her heart (in the good way not the totally condescending way). Raising a generously poured wine glass to the hometown girl. Cheers Whitney, you really did it!

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Then it was on to The Bachelorette announcement and honestly, I may still be a little too peeved to write about it. But seriously, Britt vs. Kaitlyn?!? Is that even a competition. It’s insulting to Kaitlyn that the producers try to act like any one even liked Britt. Yes, she’s a smoking hot bombshell (who doesn’t shower) but her personality is bland at best and insanely annoying at its worst. Kaitlyn, on the other hand, is a down-ass chick with a killer bod, great sense of humor and seemingly, the personality to carry the show. I foresee Britt as a Desiree upgrade. Basic and boring (albeit with great hair).

I also think it’s pretty bull to let the guys decide when they get there. Don’t the guys already get to decide almost everything on this series. Boo. I’m not happy. I mean, I’ll still watch but I’m not happy about it.

So there we have it. Another season in the books. All in all, I dug this season. Drama, a pretty decent (or at least he seemed decent when he wasn’t making out with everything in sight) guy with a legit job and some cool girls with just enough crazy/kooky mixed in. Not enough high-flying dates and WAY too little Chris Harrison for my taste but hey, you can’t win ’em all.

Let the countdown to May 18th begin!