So here goes nothing. Kicking off the new Secondary Embarrassment aka TV Talk portion of the blog where I’m going to wax philosophic on my television obsession. Just know, there will be snarky commentary and spoilers. Sorry but if you haven’t watched a show yet, I feel ya – I get backed up on my DVR too – but I have to keep it {semi} relevant.

Starting it off with a show that’s giving me all the SE lately – Homeland. So if you haven’t watched Sunday’s episode yet, stop here, do not pass go, do not collect $200. And if you don’t watch Homeland, this will all be greek to you. Sorry ’bout that. 

p.s. – for those of you who are like “What the what is secondary embarrassment?” I’m sure you already know about the feeling, but it’s also the name of my old blog where I talked all about the way The Bachelor/ette franchise made me want to crawl under my couch to shield myself from their always questionable choices/actions/use of a hot tub. Check out the archives here. Oh and just know that SE = Secondary Embarrassment. Sometimes I’m too lazy to type the whole thing out. 

Carrie Matheson may be the most chock full of secondary embarrassment character on TV right now. It’s a well-documented fact that Claire Danes is the ugliest crier on the face of the planet so when you combine that with her Homeland persona’s total lack of character – you get a deadly combination. Seriously, what is wrong with this woman?

I’ve tried to give Homeland another go, a fresh start per say, after last season. Those first two seasons were like crack (I say this like I know anything about actually doing crack, clearly I have no idea). I thought about it constantly, emailing Drew in the middle of the day to plan out how many episodes we could watch after work. I considered neglecting all human responsibilities just to sneak in an extra episode (not going to say whether I actually did or not) and dreamt of possible plot twists (clearly I need to up my dream game).

But last season didn’t do it for me. I’d let episodes stack up on my DVR and wait until I literally had nothing left to watch (well, there were a couple new episodes of Thomas the Train but I couldn’t sink that low). Then I’d begrudgingly watch while Drew and I conferred about how only a suspected terrorist could love someone like Carrie.

This season though, I felt renewed. Excited to start up a new season full of suspense and questionable decisions from Carrie. Let’s just say the latter hasn’t disappointed. Girlfriend is like a walking PSA of what not to do in life. That bathtub scene with little baby Brody – I just couldn’t watch. Did anyone else want to violently shake her after watching that? Can I call CPS on an imaginary TV character? Cause if so, someone send me that number.

Thankfully she’s left her child in the care of a responsible adult so that she can go act a fool in Pakistan. I’ve never been to Pakistan, Afghanistan or anywhere in the middle east before but I’m guessing old blue-eyed, blond-haired Carrie stands out like a sore thumb. It seems like it would be easier to track her since she looks like NO ONE ELSE, well except the Ambassador. But that’s neither here nor there. She’s jumping in and out of cars like it’s her job and I know they get all kinds of badass training in the CIA but it just doesn’t seem smart to be running around the streets of Islamabad without her security bros.

The only part of this season I am 100% behind is the nearly constant inclusion of my boy Peter Quinn. Love that guy but totally hate that he has this secret love for Carrie. Doesn’t he know that she is a ticking time bomb just waiting to ruin his life. I mean she’s already ruined his life a few times over but you’d never know that considering how fast he cashes in those frequent flyer miles to join her halfway around the globe.

No one can save Carrie from her horrible judgment and questionable tactics, not even the oh-so-hunky Quinn (despite no shortage of stern “WTF?” looks). In my mind I was mentally prepared for her to do something totally inappropriate with sweet, sweet Ayaan but then it happened and I realized I wasn’t prepared at all. I’ve watched the last 7 to 10 seasons of The Bachelor/ette franchise and even the worst two-on-one date awkwardness couldn’t prepare me for what Carrie did.

The minute she put her hand on his thigh, I had the initial reaction to hide my eyes like a kid in a scary movie. I figured I’d be safe after a good 30 seconds or so but the ensuing scene was like a gut punch of secondary embarrassment that never ended. I can’t go into detail because it would be like reliving the whole thing over again but if you want to subject yourself to the horror that is Carrie Mathison preying on a poor soul’s vulnerability (what kind of person are you? psych – just kidding. No judgement when it comes to TV SE) you can watch it here. 

I’m still pretty pissed at the producers for making that be the lasting memory from this episode, destined to haunt me until Sunday at 9 pm. Here’s hoping they make up for it with more Quinn.

Until next week (I’m thinking of sharing my new found love for the show Marry Me), stay tuned.