‘When it Rains It Pours’, ‘Just Keep Swimming’ and other cliches that sum up last week

They say when it rains, it pours.

Last week was a freaking monsoon.


Okay so not the whole week. Things were going along swimmingly. I was in a routine. Work was good, I was actually making it to the gym and my pantry was not entirely bare. Things were good. Then Thursday rolled around and brought the rain clouds with it.

Woke up in the middle of the night to Reese crawling into my bed like a hot ball of fire. Isn’t there some Marvel super hero that is constantly on fire? Well, that’s what Reese felt like. A 103 degree fever led to a trip to the doctor for confirmation: the flu + an ear infection.

Here’s the thing though. Reese is so sweet when she’s sick. So selfishly, I wasn’t all too upset about spending the day at home with her. Yes, it is a pain with work but a minor pain. I also felt like I was coming down with something too so it would be good to stay away from the office and chill a little.

Then, of course, a work issue pops up. Again, nothing earth shattering but enough to take up most of my attention for the day trying to fix. Around 2 o’clock all’s right with the world again. Work issue is handled, Reese has her medicine and is watching a movie or some dumb video on YouTube TV (that could be a whole other discussion) and I’m catching up on things when the calm silence is interrupted by a phone call. It’s Drew’s school.

I let it go to voicemail since I like being prepared when I call back (also sometimes it’s not an emergency). I’m guessing he’s sick too which would be no fun but easy to handle. I listen to the message and I hear my trigger word: LICE.

OH HELL NO.ย 

You all, lice are my worst nightmare. Last year I was so freaked out that one of the kids had given it to me that I to the Kroger Little Clinic to get checked (it was just dust).

The lady at school said it was just nits but that I needed to come get him ASAP.ย At this point, we went from constant rain to all out downpour. Oh and did I mention, Drew was out of town?

Cue the full on panic.

I sat down in my bathroom – a big ball of sinus congestion, snot and anxiety. Do you ever have those moments where you’re just like, this is too much? Each thing on its own was fine and easily dealt with but all together, it was just one too many. Plus, the whole lice thing is my achilles heel. I honestly just wanted to quit.

I’ll spare you the logistics of picking him up, keeping he and Reese away from each other and figuring out a way to keep Blake from getting either of their maladies. But long story short, we get home and after a quick check, I confirm with my own eyes that yes, he has nits. I also confirm with my own sensibilities that I do not have the ability to handle this solo.

A couple Google searches later, I found a company that send someone to your house to check and treat everyone. I basically told the company that they could have everything I owned and every cent in my bank account if they would just send someone over to fix it all. Praise be, Janet – an angel from heaven –ย  came over and spent almost THREE HOURS checking, treating and re-checking everyone.

In between all of that, I’m stripping beds, washing towels and furiously picking up things to put them in the freezer (still digging things out today, apparently it kills them off after a couple days). The next day started with my doing my best Baboon impression, going through Drew’s hair with the fervor of a crazy person, and ended with about 25 loads of laundry. In all honesty, writing it now makes it seem not so bad but in the midst of it, it was all I could do to not just cry. I mean, it looked like I was since my eyes were watering constantly from the sneezing attacks I had every five minutes.

Bless poor Reese’s heart, I barely had five minutes for her in between my furious cleaning frenzy. Probably why she’s still dealing with the flu today (it is brutal, go grab a flu shot if you haven’t yet).

I say all of this, not because it’s interesting, but because it’s not. Because it’s real. Because my kids get gross-ass lice too. Because I am over here Marie Kondo-ing my entire linen closet after purging anything I thought might have nits. Because my kids are a pain sometimes. Cute, but a pain. Because it’s not easy just trying to make it through the day sometimes. And as much as I love sharing the fun and pretty things, I think you should see the other side of things too.

I think too often people make it look like things are so easy. Like all it took to have the picture perfect life was the right Instagram filter. So in an effort to keep it real, this is about as real as it gets.

First off, a BIG GIANT thank you to everyone who sent me suggestions, tips and DMs on what to do when I was in the middle of this mess. It was very much appreciated and now we have enough tea tree oil shampoo to hopefully keep those suckers away indefinitely. Oh and if you’re in Louisville and you get that dreaded lice phone call, let me know and I’ll get you Janet’s number. She really was a LIFE SAVER. (#obviouslynotsponsored)

Last but not least, if you see me around and find me scratching my head. No, I don’t have lice. Trust me, I’ve checked myself about ONE MILLION times in the last week. I just can’t convince myself that I don’t so unconsciously I am itching nonstop. So that’s fun. Eventually my anxiety about this will chill out… RIGHT!?!

Update: as I hit publish on this, I got a call from Blake’s school that she’s sick. NOOOOOOOOO!

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