Why I Can’t Quit the Ponytail

How old is too old for a ponytail? Asking for a friend.

I was honestly thinking about that the other day when I noticed that a bunch of my friends had cut their hair into chic long bobs. Then it hit me again when I heard my girl Ariana Grande was giving hers up, at least temporarily.

I love the look but no matter how hard I try or how much I wish I could make it so, the look is not for me. I will be a 70-year-old woman with her hair in a ponytail. And not one of those George Washington/Colonial America ponytails, I’m talking a full volume, high ponytail. Although it won’t be a party pony because no matter how hard I try and how much ponytail work I do, I haven’t mastered the Hannah G. pretty party ponytail. Someone send me YouTube tutorials on how to master that.

I’m committed to a ponytail. I even wore my hair in one at my wedding. And I don’t regret it for a second. The ponytail is my signature look. Anna Wintour has the bob. Jenna Lyons has those glasses. Velma from Scooby Doo has the turtleneck. Lisa Rinna has the shag.

I have the pony.

And clearly, I fall more in line with the Velma/Rinna style file than Jenna or Anna. A little dated but very committed to the look.

I’m pretty sure I’m starting to move towards Kyle Richards territory of having my hair too long for my age but at this point, I don’t care. I told my hairdresser to let me know when things move into sad old hippy territory and it’s time to make a change. I’m trusting her to keep me in line, so if you all have thoughts – please direct them to Whitney.

A ponytail is like an old, reliable friend, well maybe that’s the ponytail holder. It’s always there for you. Ready to do work? Pull your hair back and get shit done. Oversleep and need to be at work in 20 minutes? The pony is there. Time to hit the dance floor at a party? Throw that hair up and get on down. Wind, rain, snow messing up your look? The ponytail is here to keep it all together. It will never let you down.

Anyways, we all have our signature things. And while I’m never master the uber-chic uniform, I do feel like the resurgence of the scrunchie and the popularity of the hair scarf (more on that obsession over here) has really elevated my ponytail game. I’m on a bit of a scrunchie-buying spree lately because they are cheap, fun and easy (which is probably not how most things want to be described but the scrunchie doesn’t mind).

I realized I might have gone too far when, while reorganizing my closet, I had enough scrunchies to warrant their own bin. But I’m not sorry and I’m here to spread the scrunchie and long ponytail gospel. So go ahead and buy this patriotic American flag set and thank me later.

SCRUNCH IT UP

Gimme Gimme More

1 Comment

  1. Reply

    Amanda J.

    June 13, 2019

    I love your ode to the pony! <3 I love them so much.

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